


Fallin' Again

by FallingLikeThis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Based on a Harry Styles song, Boys Kissing, Exes, Exes to Lovers, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Break Up, Questioning, hopefully, talking it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21884317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis
Summary: Harry was afraid of this.He knew trying to be friends with Louis again, over a year after they broke each other’s hearts, was probably a bad idea. But he’s not good at denying himself the things he wants and he absolutely wanted Louis back in his life.Kissing him right now, while they’re drunk and lonely and only six months into their new friendship isdefinitelya bad idea. But Harry can’t stop pulling Louis tighter against him, grasping his shirt with desperate hands and swallowing every whimper as Louis clutches at him too.“Get this off,” Louis orders, breaking away to yank at Harry’s shirt, trying to unbutton it and pull it up at the same time.Harry’s heart clenches just looking at him and that stops him from moving in to seal their lips together again.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 128
Collections: Secret Santa Ficlets and Drabbles





	Fallin' Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [allwaswell16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allwaswell16/gifts).



> The title is from the song Falling by Harry Styles. It's kind of based on the song too.

Harry was afraid of this. 

He knew trying to be friends with Louis again, over a year after they broke each other’s hearts, was probably a bad idea. But he’s not good at denying himself the things he wants and he absolutely wanted Louis back in his life. 

Kissing him right now, while they’re drunk and lonely and only six months into their new friendship is  _ definitely _ a bad idea. But Harry can’t stop pulling Louis tighter against him, grasping his shirt with desperate hands and swallowing every whimper as Louis clutches at him too. 

“Get this off,” Louis orders, breaking away to yank at Harry’s shirt, trying to unbutton it and pull it up at the same time.

Harry’s heart clenches just looking at him and that stops him from moving in to seal their lips together again. 

If possible, Louis had gotten even more beautiful in the time they spent apart and Harry can’t help but imagine what would happen if they got back together. His chest clenches again, tighter, and he knows it’s because he wants that. He wants Louis back, the way they were before, but he’s scared of what this path will lead them to. 

Maybe they’ll wake in the morning and be happy about waking up next to each other again. Maybe they’ll get back together and live happily ever after.. 

It’s possible. 

But what if Louis doesn’t want him the same way? What if he just looking for a hookup? 

Or what if he does want Harry the same way and they’re not ready? What if Harry doesn’t just break Louis’ heart this time? What if it shatters? 

There’s no coming back from that. 

“Harry, help me.” Louis whines, his fingers fumbling over the infernal buttons, practically ripping at them now. 

Harry catches Louis’ wrists in a gentle grip but it’s enough to make Louis stop and look at him. 

“What are we doing, Louis?”

“I-- I don’t know. What are  _ you _ doing?” Louis asks, suddenly sounding just as uncertain as Harry feels. 

“I think… maybe we need some coffee or something,” Harry suggests, pulling Louis’ arms to rest his hands against his own chest, holding them there delicately. “I think we’re drunk and we might be making a mistake.”

“ _ Oh _ .” Louis lowers his head, unwilling to meet Harry’s eyes and Harry knows that means he’s taking this as a rejection. “Um…”

His throat sounds tight, like maybe he’s struggling with his emotions and Harry hates that he’s hurt him. 

“No, Louis,” Harry rushes to correct that assumption, letting go of Louis’ hands to cradle his face with soft fingers. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want us to sleep together only for you to regret it in the morning when you’re sober. I don’t want to send us back to a past I’m not sure we can recover from.”

“Oh,” Louis says again, slowly pulling his hands back into his lap and actually meeting Harry’s eyes again. “Coffee might be a good idea.”

“Should we go out? Get some air on the way?” Harry asks, standing from Louis’ sofa and offering a hand to help him up too.

“Yeah,” Louis agrees, letting himself be pulled up. “Yeah, I know a place.”

~~~~~

Huddled in their coats against the weather, they walk through the snow to the Beechwood  Café . The cold air is sobering enough that they probably don’t even need coffee anymore but Harry’s not going to suggest turning back. 

The walk is mostly quiet but for the sound of their shoes crunching through the snow and the air feels heavy with everything they aren’t saying. 

Harry tentatively reaches out a hand and pulls Louis’ hand out of his pocket.

Louis looks at him quizzically until Harry interlocks their fingers, pulling both their hands into the pocket of his trenchcoat. 

The action makes Louis walk closer to him and he can’t say he minds. A quick glance at Louis tells Harry that  _ he _ doesn’t mind much either, a smile playing in the corner of his mouth. 

When they reach the  café , Harry rushes to open the door. He ushers Louis in first, following behind him with their hands still attached. 

They order their coffees and Louis picks a table while Harry waits on them. 

The  café is mostly empty at this time of night so they pretty much have the place to themselves. Harry isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or not. They don’t have to worry about being overheard but he thinks it’s also easier just to go along with the silence, use it to hide from the hard truths.

“So,” Louis says, once they’re both sitting, coffees warming their frozen hands. He doesn’t elaborate further. 

“So,” Harry replies, watching as Louis pulls his hands away from his coffee cup to pull his sleeves down over them. He’d always thought that was cute but now he knows that it’s also a sign of Louis’ nerves. “I think we should talk about what happened. And whether it means something or not, you know, for  _ us _ . Whether it  _ should  _ mean something or not.”

“Did  _ you _ want it to mean something?” Louis counters, picking at the top of his coffee cup. 

“Well…  _ yeah _ , Lou,” Harry answers honestly,  _ painfully _ . Because it doesn’t matter what he wants, really. He’s the one who brought about the beginning of the end for them. “But I always want it to mean something with you. I just...after what happened between us, I don’t really feel like I get a say in what happens next. And I’m fine with that because the last thing I ever want is to hurt you again.”

“ _ Harry. _ ” Louis says his name with a severely unimpressed look on his face, “Of  _ course _ you get a say in what happens next. It’s your life too... your  _ relationship _ too if that’s what we’re headed towards. Of course, you get a say.”

Harry smiles down at his coffee but then it falters, “I’m scared though,” he admits quietly. “I don’t think I’m the same person I was last time. And that’s good because I’m not sure I like who I was becoming, but I don’t want to risk starting something with you if there’s even a chance that a part of him still exists.”

“Oh, love,” Louis sighs, leaning forward to lay his hand over Harry’s on the table. “You act like everything that happened before was your fault, but it wasn’t. It takes two to cause a train wreck.”

“I thought it took two to tango,” Harry says with a smirk, causing Louis to pat his hand placatingly. 

“That too, but a breakup is decidedly less sexy so I’ll stick with mine.”

“Touché.” 

Louis studies him for a moment, thumb rubbing over the back of Harry’s hand absentmindedly like a habit. It used to be. Harry would like it to be again.

“Can I ask… what made you stop us, back there in my flat? One minute you were just as desperate for it as I was and then the next, you stopped. What happened?” Louis questions, drink untouched on the table before him. He seems to have forgotten about it.

“I just,” Harry tries to shrug it off, not wanting to give Louis this particular answer. “I dunno, I just thought about what was going to happen in the morning. And I didn’t know if it was going to make you more happy or less happy.”

“Waking up next to you would always make me  _ more _ happy,” Louis tells him earnestly. “Even when it was shitty between us, even right there at the end. Waking up with you was my favorite part of the day.” 

Harry can feel his face crumple as he fights the sudden onslaught of emotion. “You can’t just  _ say _ shit like that, Lou,” Harry whines, wiping at the tears in his eyes. “But, um, for the record. I feel the same. No matter what we’re doing, no matter what I am to you… friend, lover… hell, dog walker, I don’t care. I’m always happier with you.”

Louis chuckles, eyes crinkling with mirth at Harry’s admission. “Good to know.” He reaches across the table with his other hand, sweater paws gone now that they’ve littered the table with confessions, and takes Harry’s hand between both of his own. “Do you think you might want to… try again? Do it right this time?”

“What if we don’t get it right?” Harry asks, afraid to know the answer but more afraid to go into this blind. 

“Then we don’t get it right,” Louis answers, smiling at Harry sadly but following it with a squeeze of his hand. “I have faith in us though. We know what we did wrong. Not to do it again. I think we can go all the way this time…innuendo,” he stops to hum thoughtfully for a second before adding decisively, “ _ partially _ intended.”

“I love you,” Harry laughs, pausing a second later in panic when he realizes what he’s said. “I--”

“I love you too,” Louis interrupts before he can consider trying to take it back. He lifts Harry’s hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. “Never really stopped, if I’m honest.”

Is it possible to love someone with your entire heart and still fall in love with them all over again?

Harry believes so. Because he’s definitely falling again. Or maybe he’s not falling. Maybe he jumped. It’s called a leap of faith for a reason, right? 

“So… we’re trying this?”

“I hope so,” Louis says, rising from his chair and moving to kneel in front of Harry, hand still firmly held in both of his own. “Harry Edward Styles, will you be my boyfriend again?”

Harry smiles down at him with watery eyes. His throat is tight again. 

“How long are you going to make me stay down here, H?” Louis asks, raising a brow and pinching Harry’s hand lightly. 

“Hold your horses, I’m weighing my options,” Harry replies, laughing when Louis swears and stands up again, He uses the hand Louis is holding to pull him back down into his lap. “Of course I will,” he answers, wrapping his free hand around the back of Louis’ neck and pulling him down for a kiss. 

Their footprints from their trek to the café are gone when they leave, the steadily falling snow erasing any hint of them. 

It feels nice, crunching their way back to Louis’ flat, making a new path as they go. 

It feels like a fresh start. 

  
  


  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> With all my angst-loving heart, I hope you enjoyed this. If you liked this, here is a [fic post](https://fallinglikethis.tumblr.com/post/189907936759/fallin-again-by-fallinglikethis-words-1756) you can reblog to share it. Thank you!


End file.
